editing
In the photo above, I lead a group critique of the previous year’s newspapers during Editors’ Week in August 2019. As a publication, we strive to build off and improve on our previous work in a constant process of re-evaluation and revision. Photo by Ellen Austin
In both our articles and our newspaper designs, Harker Journalism consistently emphasizes quality over quantity. Articles for the newspaper and online site go through multiple rounds of editing. The section editor looks through the story for content and structure, one of our two copy editors fact-checks and edits the article for AP style and managing editors and editors in chief check in throughout and give the final sign-off.
The quality of our editing reinforces Harker Journalism’s reputation for professionalism and credibility.
WHAT’S IN STYLE?
As news editor, during the summer before my junior year, I and the leadership team began thinking of what methods editors could use to teach our cubs basic journalism skills, such as how to write a lede or conduct oneself in an interview. To that end, I worked with the co-editors in chief of the Winged Post, Kat and Prameela, and the executive news editor, Ryan, to create multiple power points that would streamline the process of teaching new reporters, moving forward the time when they would be able to write quality articles for our news publications.
PROVIDING FEEDBACK
In addition to training new reporters, I work closely with writers in person and over Google Docs to talk through and revise their articles, starting from the story’s conception. Before any words are written, I work with editors and reporters on the big picture, brainstorming unique angles and appropriate sources. In the drafting stages, I check that their research and sourcing is on track and suggest where they can provide more context, check potential biases or get an additional perspective. Then, prior to publication, I coordinate with section editors and loop in Jessie, our copy editor. Finally, I do one last check on structure and clarity before congratulating the reporters on a job well done.
STAYING NEUTRAL IN GLOBAL CONFLICT
For this guide to the escalation in the U.S.-Iran conflict this January, I worked with the reporters to verify factual information and fix common AP style errors.
Most importantly, I reminded them to remain objective and neutral in their writing, even when quoting authority figures. For example, when they introduced Iranian general Qasem Soleimani as “the world’s top terrorist,” according to President Donald Trump, I reminded them to contextualize Trump’s statements rather than having this charged wording be the only characterization they had of Soleimani.
For more on how we approached this article, visit Law and Ethics.
ATTRIBUTING THE FACTS
The first draft of this article on the coronavirus disease 2019 outbreak needed more work on sourcing and attribution. I worked with the reporter to identify what better sources to use, what facts needed to be checked and what additional context could be provided. With misinformation about the virus already rampant in the school community, it was important to provide clear and factual information about a public health situation to our community.
THE REVISION PROCESS
In revising my own articles, I pay attention to how my writing can affect the articles’ potential impact on the school and local community. Often, I spend the most time reworking the lede or hook, as it is the reader’s first entry point into the article and sets the tone for the rest of the piece.
LOCAL FOCUS
For example, I strive to remember my audience by localizing stories as much as possible, highlighting issues that directly impact Harker students and staff.
My original hook for a longform article that we are publishing this spring on the Bay Area housing and homelessness crisis started in Oakland, 40 miles from Harker, with the story of an activist and mother whom I interviewed. Upon revision, I decided to localize the story further by starting the piece at the Harker gates. After all, we had a homeless encampment right across the street from our school.
By starting the story at our school’s gates, I was able to immediately bring in Harker students and teachers, establishing their experiences as the focus of the article. In this way, I sought to alert my community to the fact that this was a story about them in particular, a story that no other newspaper could tell.
Read the before and after hooks on the left and right below.
Before: After moving to Mississippi for college, Dominique Walker, 34, returned to Oakland in April, only to find that she could no longer afford to live in her hometown.
For a while, Walker and her two small children stayed with family, who had also been displaced to 45 minutes outside Oakland. She spent hours commuting into the city and worked two jobs. Soon, she began living in hotel rooms.
“I went through every program. No program helped me. The funding was cut for one of the programs when I came there with my lease. They were supposed to help me with my deposit, my first month’s rent. I came in there, and I left empty-handed,” Walker said. “So what is a mother supposed to do when there’s no other options?”
In the midst of an ongoing housing crisis in the Bay Area, the mothers’ story is not new nor unique. In Oakland, a city where a one-bedroom apartment rents for $2,551 a month on average, 4,071 people are homeless. Of the top 20 most unaffordable places to live in the U.S., six are in the Bay Area.
After: Ten minutes before the start of class, the line of cars into the upper school gates moves notoriously slow. Several teachers rush in after hour-long commutes from San Francisco, Santa Cruz and Morgan Hill, fanning in from a 50-mile radius around the upper school. Students arrive by car or bus, sometimes after similarly long journeys from Atherton, Scotts Valley and Redwood City.
Across the street from the upper school gates, staff and students coming off the Interstate 280 exit pass by a bright red tent, tucked under the branches of a weeping willow by the highway off-ramp. This is where Rudy, 56, has lived since losing his San Jose apartment in 2016.
Rudy, Harker’s teachers, students and staff all live in different places across five or more counties, but their daily lives are bound together by the same housing crisis – a shortage of affordable housing in the Bay Area that over the past few years has lengthened commutes, displaced residents and made living in the region prohibitively expensive for an increasing number of people.
A FRESH APPROACH
For an early article draft I wrote about a local Native American tribe’s fight to preserve their sacred land, I started the article with a description of a protest the tribe held using generic descriptors like “as the air rang with shouts and slogans.” However, Harker Journalism had written many articles covering protests, all starting off with a similar kind of lede. After writing the initial draft, I took a step back and decided to improve the writing and story structure by giving the article a unique opening. I changed the lede to a description of the tribe’s sacred land, characterizing its beauty and significance. I tried to evoke the rolling of the hills with the cadence of my language.
Read the before and after ledes below, and the full article here.
Before: As the air rang with shouts and slogans, Roxanne Gaona, a senior at Central High School in Fresno, led a procession of over 200 indigenous people, environmental activists and allies through the streets of downtown San Juan Bautista, past leafy trees and historic adobe buildings. In her hands, she held a banner reading “Standing Together with Juristac” in black and red letters. Beside her, a larger banner emblazoned with an outstretched eagle and the words “Protect Juristac” rippled in the hot breeze.
After: At the southern end of Santa Clara County, just west of U.S. Highway 101, green and gold hills stretch for over 6,000 acres. Oak and sycamore trees dot the rolling landscape known as Sargent Ranch, providing shade for cougars and tiger salamanders that dart through the tall grass. For thousands of years, the Amah Mutsun tribal band, a local Native American group, has called these hills by the name of Juristac and considered them sacred ground.
Soon, these hills may also serve as the site of a controversial 320-acre sand and gravel mine.